Intelligent Downsizing
"Dare I suggest that if you are thinking about a bit of downsizing, you consider getting rid of your Department of Procrastination and Delay?"
Downsizing seems to be all the rage these days, particularly at tech companies. As someone who has studied innovation for thirty years, I've learned that often, those doing the downsizing are targeting the wrong people.
With that in mind, let me offer up my expertise on what groups should be on the chopping block. In fact, there are a number of departments that I suggest you might consider axing:
The Creativity and Innovation Prevention Department
The Office Of Small Thinking and Marginal Ideas
The Department of Lost Initiative
The Excuses and Justification Bureau
The Committee To Create Committees
The Aggressive Indecision Department
The Division of Obsolete Technologies
The Department of Reinventing the Wheel
The Office of Doing What's Always Been Done
The Department of Repetitive But Useless Actions
The Department that Always Does it This Way
The Office of the Leadership Sycophants
The Department of Redundancy Department
The Department of Unnecessary Acronyms (DUA)
The Secret Innovation Committee
The Office of the Underachievers
The Coordinator of Complaints and Criticism
The Department of Organizational Sclerosis
The Office of Decision Deferral
The Team of Perpetual Planners
The Department of Blame Assignment
In addition, there are a few highly specialized executive positions you should consider getting rid of. These include the:
Coordinator of Unnecessary Meetings
Vice President of Hiding Failure
Senior Director of the Status Quo
Senior Vice President of Distracting Initiatives
Head of Cautious Bureaucracy
Senior Vice President of Never-Ending Strategic Studies
Get moving! Do this today - start out by going down the hall and firing your Innovation & Creativity Prevention Department!
Do something!
Futurist Jim Carroll left the traditional corporate workplace in 1999 when the company he worked for shifted him into the Department of NeverEnding Political Infighting and Backstabbing. He's been working as a solo entrepreneur ever since and doesn't miss the irrelevancy of the bureaucracy that once surrounded him.